All the guys on Hinge
I’ve matched with,
saved in my phone contacts
with the surname
I’ve given them:
Joseph Hinge,
Reynol Hinge,
Sebastian Hinge.
As if they’re the
Brothers Hinge,
and not just random guys
who’ve come my way
on an algorithm.
All the guys on Hinge
I’ve matched with,
saved in my phone contacts
with the surname
I’ve given them:
Joseph Hinge,
Reynol Hinge,
Sebastian Hinge.
As if they’re the
Brothers Hinge,
and not just random guys
who’ve come my way
on an algorithm.
Maybe I just really like
staring at my phone?
Maybe that’s… my hobby?
It feels safer right now
to stare at my phone,
than stare directly into
the world.
Maybe I’ll be
staring at my phone
when the world implodes,
and we all
fall into
nothingness.
A cocktail bar
in a former public toilet:
people used to go there
to spend a penny;
now, they go there
to spend “12.5” on martinis,
that are mediocre
at best.
NOT a restaurant –
It’s a ris-to-ran-te, yeah?
How did you not know???
Why do you mock me
With your mock Tudor façade,
Surburban semi?
One day
the Wordle word
will be frond
And rejoice
shall we,
for the Wordle word
was frond
A word of which,
we’re fond.
I received an email from my love.
It ended in four sweet words, beautiful in their simplicity:
“Get Outlook for Android”.
I was in a Tesco Express the other night buying myself a selection of junk food – BBQ Beef Hula-hoops, Quorn pasty, a Frijj milkshake.
When I noticed another guy who had a similar vibe to me – beard, long hair – but he was around ten years younger. He was buying similar stuff too: Monster Munch, a BLT, Lucozade.
I did a little eyebrow raise of recognition to him, kind of like if you see someone else wearing the same piece of clothing. Or like when bus drivers doing the same route in opposite directions acknowledge each other. I then thought nothing further of it.
It was only when I was outside I realised that he probably looked at me and my basket, and thought “that could be me in ten years time, if I don’t get my act together”.
As you leave London on the M4
postmodern office blocks
Audi showrooms
and David Gandy advertising Wellman supplements
jostle to bid you farewell
You must not cuss
at the Job Centre Plus
Neither should you swear
at the Pull & Bear
Do not eff or blind
in a branch of Mind
And utter no profanity
In an HMV
Now, they mainly sell posters and T-shirts there,
But still, watch your fucking language, yeah?