Growing up I loved Disney
but all those films, they lied
to me

I have been Under the Sea
(when I went snorkelling,
in Torquay):

there was no carp,
playing the harp,

nor no trout,
rocking out.

All I saw –
which made me sad –
was a crumpled, used
sanitary pad.

So listen all ye,
ev’ry last one:
believe not the song
of Sebastian
(the crab).